A Woman's Conclusions

I said, if I might go back again To the very hour and place of my birth; Might have my life whatever I chose, And live it in any part of the earth; But perfect sunshine into my sky, Banish the shadow of sorrow and doubt; Have all my happiness multiplied, And all my suffering stricken out; If I could have known in the years now gone, The best that a woman comes to know; Could have had whatever will make her blest, Or whatever she thinks will make her so; Have found the highest and purest bliss That the bridal-wreath and ring inclose; And gained the one out of all the world, That my heart as well as my reason chose; And if this had been, and I stood tonight By my children, lying asleep in their beds And could count in my prayers, for a rosary, The shining row of their golden heads; Yea! I said, if a miracle such as this Could be wrought for me, at my bidding, still I would choose to have my past as it is, And to let my future come as it will! I would not make the path I have trod More pleasant or even, more straight or wide; Nor change my course the breadth of a hair, This way or that way, to either side. My past is mine, and I take it all; Its weakness--its folly, if you please; Nay, even my sins, if you come to that, May have been my helps, not hindrances! If I saved my body from the flames Because that once I had burned my hand; Or kept myself from a greater sin By doing a less--you will understand; It was better I suffered a little pain, Better I sinned for a little time, If a smarting warned me back from death, And the sting of sin withheld from crime. Who knows its strength, by trial, will know What strength must be set against a sin; And how temptation is overcome He has learned, who has felt its power within! And who knows how a life at the last may show? Why, look at the moon from where we stand! Opaque, uneven, you say; yet it shines, A luminous sphere, complete and grand! So let my past stand, just as it stands, And let me now, as I may, grow old; I am what I am, and my life for me Is the best--or it had not been, I hold. Phoebe Cary (1868)  Like her sister Alice, Phoebe Cary wrote poems inspired by the frontier life of her Ohio childhood. Her refreshingly ironic poems about a woman's status in nineteenth-century society contrast the merits of a single life with ideals of motherhood and marriage. Phoebe Cary was born September 4th 1823 in a farmhouse eight miles north of Cincinnati. The basis of her education was the Bible, a few sentimental novels, and the Trumpet, a Universalist publication. By 1835, tuberculosis had claimed her mother and two sisters. Despite the demands of farm work and a stepmother's disapproval, Phoebe began publishing poetry along with her sister Alice in 1838. pictures courtesy of all posters

Enjoy,

      Mimi